Postcards from the Mess #3
learning to laugh at the days to come...
Happy Friday Friends,
Do you ever get so caught up in planning your future that you forget you can’t always control it? Do you ever struggle to just completely settle into the day you are living without wanting to jump ahead to what’s next (the upcoming beach trip, the start of the school year, fall sports)?
If there is a resounding yes bouncing around your heart when you read those questions, you are in the right place.
This week, I have felt this consistent tug to loosen my grip on what’s ahead and just be present in the day I’m actually living. To trust that whatever is coming is already held, instead of feeling like it’s mine to manage.
And I stumbled across some scripture that, though I have heard and read many times, jumped off the page to me this week in a new way… I hope it will seep into your heart the way it has mine.
Let’s dig in!
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25
The verse that wouldn't let me go
This week, I was reading my morning devotional, and the scripture you read above (Proverbs 31:25) was attached to it.
I couldn’t stop reading it.
And this little nugget of scripture felt like a whisper in my ear, the same whisper I need on repeat, because this isn't a desire I get to relinquish once and be done with. It just keeps coming back.
This particular verse starts with what we should clothe ourselves in: strength and dignity.
The Hebrew word used here for strength is oz, and it equates to boldness and power. The Hebrew word used here for dignity is hadar, and it means magnificence, excellency, and honor.
Both of these descriptive words should bolster our confidence as women in our own homes and remind us that we are valued. While I loved that little reminder, that isn’t what made me keep reading this verse over and over.
It was the second part that kept me coming back…
“…She can laugh at all the days to come.”
The questions I couldn't dodge…
The first thoughts that popped into my head were:
Can I laugh at all the days to come?
Do I find joy when I look towards the future?
Do I trust God to take care of what’s ahead?
If I'm honest, the answer to all three is "not really." Not the way Proverbs 31 describes it, anyway. I'm too busy trying to map out what's next to actually find joy in it.
As I struggle with the desire to know what’s coming and to wrangle the days and weeks ahead into what I see for my future, for my family’s future… I am losing sight of the beautiful cornerstone of what God offers me: the security that my future is held by the same hands that created the very foundations of this earth.
Before I get to where that realization led me, I want to back up for a second.
A little background on this verse
If you have been a believer for long, you have most likely read through the words of Proverbs 31 or heard a sermon preached on it. If not, welcome to one of the most famous lists to describe what a virtuous woman should look like from a biblical standpoint.
This list, while beloved by many, has had a controversial view in modern days, with people describing it as controlling, putting pressure on women, and offering an idealized picture of womanhood.
Most of the time, those who view it that way have taken it out of the context of an ancient culture, and I get why. Stripped of context, it can read that way. But in my very humble opinion, there’s a different point being made.
So, two thoughts to take with you if you decide to read through the scripture (Proverbs 31:10-31) completely:
First, you may have thought this list was written out for women… It is actually written from the point of view of a mother speaking to her son. (Boy moms, I am looking at you!) Before this woman even addresses what kind of woman her son should seek to find and come to treasure, she also has ideas about how he should act as well.
Second, this is a mother’s picture of a woman worth treasuring, not a checklist handed down to control anyone. The two get confused pretty easily, but they are not the same thing.
I have written before about our tendency to push back against the guardrails God sets in place for us. We want to live life the way we want to live life. But the Bible is God-breathed, living, and active… So my suggestion is that when you have the time, you dig into this scripture and get lost in the picture created here of a woman whose worth is far above rubies, instead of falling into a negative narrative about what you think you are getting wrong…
What I'm carrying with me
All of that context matters, but it's what came after I sat with the verse itself that really stuck with me.
It brought an incredible realization to the front of my mind: He doesn’t want us to have a death grip on our plans for the future; He wants us to be able to rejoice in what He already has planned for us.
He wants us to walk, with strength and dignity, down the path that He has already walked ahead of us.
I won’t pretend that confidence is something I’ve fully stepped into. Most days, I’m still somewhere between gripping too tight and letting go. But my confidence isn’t really about knowing what’s ahead, it’s about knowing He’s already walked the path and prepared the way. And I’d rather find joy in that than keep trying to control what was never mine to control in the first place.
So that is what I am carrying with me this week: that I can have so much confidence in what lies ahead of me that I can find that same joy written about here: the kind of joy that lets you laugh at the days to come, instead of trying to control them.
I want to hear your biggest struggle with the days ahead! Are you able to laugh at the goodness? Or do you struggle to let that control go, too?
Until next week, Blair
