Postcards from the Mess #2

learning to... be honest about what I am living for.

Happy Friday, friends!

We are deep in the thick of summer over here, and I am feeling every bit of it. The boys are home, the days are full, and if I am being honest, my quiet times have looked more like quiet attempts.

But God has a funny way of meeting us right in the middle of the mess… and this week He met me in the margin of my Bible.

I think He might have something for you there, too!

“For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

Philippians 1:21

The other morning I was reading Philippians 1 when I landed on verse 21. And I did what I always do, I scribbled something in the margin:

For me, to live is ____.

Paul’s whole purpose for living was Christ: encouraging others, spreading the Gospel, and pointing everything back to Him. And sitting there with my pen, I had this strong sense that I needed to declare what living was to me, too.

I want the blank to say the same thing as Paul. I really do. But when I look at what I actually reach for, what makes the top of my priority list most days, what I find myself busy doing… I wouldn’t fill that blank with “Christ.”

Maybe parts of my days. Maybe moments of my week. But not the whole of my life.

If I’m being really honest, my blank would probably say “comfort.” Doing what I need to do to keep things moving. Keeping everyone happy and things running smoothly.

And summer puts a spotlight on all of it. The schedule disappears, which means my time with God becomes infrequent and rushed. When plans change, drinks spill, and messes pile up… my reactions are not exactly fueled by anything Christ-like.

Reading Paul’s words leaves no doubt where his focus was. No matter what he did, I think his first question in every moment was probably, “Would this honor God?”

And I am longing for that same pull. That same leading.

I don’t want to live trapped inside my comfort zone when I could be actively honoring Him by stepping out of it. I don’t want to live reactively when I know that Christ calls us to gentleness and self-control.

Paul had a different center of gravity. And I am still trying to find mine.

This week, I’m not writing from a place of breakthrough. I’m still staring at what I wrote in the margin, pen in hand. I know what I want to write there. I also know I’m not there yet. So I’m bringing that tension right to the Source, because I know I will never be able to fill in that blank on my own.

Let me know in the comment section how you would fill in the blank: “To live is ____.”

Until next week, Blair